A Tale of Erestor, Hysterical Musicians, and Pink
by Malara
Summary: Elrond “asked” Erestor to watch over Rivendell while he is… um… fighting orcs. [cough] visiting Celebrían in Lorien [cough] Chaos? Naturally. [ONE SHOT]


**_UPDATE: _**June 23, 2005: There was one spelling error that I changed. Many thanks to **Freelance Beatnik** for pointing that out!

**Title: **A Tale of Erestor, Hysterical Musicians, and Pink Wallpaper

**Summary: **Elrond "asked" (ha!) Erestor to watch over Rivendell while he is… um… fighting orcs (cough visiting Celebrían in Lorien cough)! Different format than the other "Tale" stories, but the same concept. ONE SHOT; COMPLETE Chaos? Naturally.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Lord of the Rings_. Can you imagine what the books would be like if I did? ("You shall be… the Fellowship of the Toe ring!" and "It's the Killer Bunny Rabbit! Run away, run away!") That's from _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_. Don't own that one either. Be sure to let you know the moment I do!

**Timeline: **This takes place at the very beginning of the third age, right before Elrond and Celebrían get married (108 Third Age). And all of the dates work, too! I originally had the story about Glorfy, but he's not in Rivendell until about halfway through the Third Age (research… it's priceless). So we just switched to torture to Erestor.

XXX Erestor's POV XXX

_It was a depressing day in Rivendell. The birds were gone, the grass was brown, and Elrond was going off to save the world._ Wait a minute… Elrond saving the world? No, no, no, you've got it all wrong!

And how is Elrond leaving depressing, anyway?

It all started when Elrond receive a letter from a mysterious elf who isn't important in the rest of the story. If only I knew his name… he was the beginning of my woes! Elrond claims this letter was from Thranduil, and he must leave at one because Mirkwood was in siege. Yeah. Sure. Like I'm going to believe that. How many people send out cries of pleas in an envelope with hearts on it?

IT IS **_SO_** A LETTER FROM CELEBRÍAN!

Ahem, anyway, Elrond brought me into his office. "Dear Erestor," he began. "You are one of the most cool-headed and pleasant people in all of Imladris."

I just stared. Either he was drunk or in desperate need of a drink.

"I have no worries about leaving Rivendell in your hands for a while."

My response? "ARE YOU CRAZY!""

"Great! If you need me, I'll be back… eventually."

Before I could stop him, he ran out the door! What did I do? I followed him, of course, and jumped out of the window.

The good news? I didn't break my legs! The bad? I was stuck in a tree for four hours!

What did he do then? Laughed and said he'd buy me souvenirs from Lorien!

Bloody Elven Lords!

I was eventually saved my Lindir, who laughed hysterically at my fear of heights. I promptly threatened to violently attack his harp if he told another soul. He shut up at after.

So there I was, in charge of Rivendell. For. A. Whole. Seven. Months. It actually wasn't as hard as Elrond pretends it to be. All I had to do was yell at people. And I'm quite good that that. I still needed some kind of revenge, though. Then I got an evil plan… a _very _evil plan… BWAHAHAHA! FEAR ME! BWAHAH-- cough cough, hack hack Sorry. Choked on a carrot.

Elrond came back to Rivendell in full spirits. He was overyjoyed that everyone had a humongous smile on their face and told me that I had done an excellent job.

He didn't appreciate his pink bedroom, however.

"Did you paint my room _pink_!"

I just smiled innocently. "Me! The most cool-headed and pleasant people in all of Imladris? Never!"

XXX

That was more like a ramble and rant than a parody, but oh well… I tried. I actually kind of like this! The creative monkeys struck tonight! I'm so happy!

If you could, please point out any grammar or spelling mistakes. I did read over this several times, but my Beta reader is currently in the wilderness in the middle of nowhere (Colorado, to be more precise) for the next couple of days, and I didn't want to wait. If you could help me with that, that would be _great_!

I tried really hard not to make this like _A New Form of Torture _by Avalon Estel, and I think I succeeded.If no, feel free to attack me with sporks… um, _imaginary _sporks, please!

Please review!

Thanks and have a nice day!

Malara :)


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